


You're My Dad! Boogie Woogie Woogie!

by NatsuoftheDawn



Series: When In Hell... [2]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, I have no idea what else to tag this, Texting, The Author Regrets Nothing, You call Diavolo your dad, i guess, no beta we die like lillith, that's is that's the fic, totally not projecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-19 04:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29993535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatsuoftheDawn/pseuds/NatsuoftheDawn
Summary: You said the wrong thing during a student council meeting. What happens next will surprise you!
Relationships: Diavolo & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Diavolo & Reader, Reader/Sweet Embrace of Death
Series: When In Hell... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2206248
Comments: 8
Kudos: 62





	You're My Dad! Boogie Woogie Woogie!

**Author's Note:**

> Me: (Simps for Diavolo 24/7)  
> Also Me: Haha. What if I dad zoned him.

Like every natural disaster, it came without a warning.

It started off like every other day. Wake up, go to RAD, do student council duties, go home, sleep, repeat. Of course, there would be an occasional (read: frequent) occasion outside of the standard norm, but today was not one of those times.

“Here you go!” You handed Diavolo your latest finished report. “I’ve even separated the approved and rejected request forms _and_ sorted them alphabetically for easier reading.” You said proudly. Sure enough, the Prince quickly thumbed through one of the piles and made a noise in his throat that sounded positive.

Next thing you know, he gives you one of his iconic smiles. “Excellent work as always, MC.” He tells you. “Your help is always appreciated! Thanks to you, we’ve made a tremendous dent in all this paperwork. We couldn’t have done it without you.”

The praise he was pouring on you felt so good. You try not to visibly react to it, but your brain dumped a massive pool of serotonin from his words alone. Hell, you can even feel your cheeks warming up. It always felt good to be praised by your peers, but there was something about the way Diavolo praises you that fuels you to work hard for the next one. While you were chasing that high and not wanting to be rude you simply replied with,

“Thanks, dad.”

And all of Devildom seemed to freeze over. You could hear Lucifer’s pen dropping to the floor behind you while Mammon choked on something somewhere else in the room. There were no sounds of papers being written or even _talking_. All eyes landed on you as the reality of what you said started to sink in.

Oh fuck, did you call the _Prince of Literal Hell your Dad?_ Well, he’s such a huge guy and acts almost exactly like those kind-hearted fathers you always see on social media in your realm. It doesn’t help that your actual dad kinda sucks, so maybe this is projection at work. Sadly, the damage has already been done. You could see Diavolo’s face turn from confusion to amusement in a matter of seconds.

“I...I…” Your already red face got darker when you heard the faint snickering coming from Barbatos. Fearing that your rapid heart bursting through your chest, you can only manage to squeak a “Bye!” Before dashing out of the building and out of the academy.

So here you are, holed up in your honorary room at Purgatory Hall while your D.D.D. continues to blow up on the nightstand next to the bed. You couldn’t go back to the HOL, not immediately at least. You felt so embarrassed that you called your housemates’s semi-boss your father.

At least the residents at Purgatory Hall understood your human err. Solomon did give you some shit about it, but that was a given because, well, it’s Solomon. If he wasn’t teasing you about this, then you would have bigger fish to fry in Hell. Simeon was the most sympathetic person about your current predicament while Luke was just happy that you’re hanging out for a few hours. He can complain about the demons later.

You just hope this shitshow cools down soon. Maybe a nap will calm you down.

~

Hours have passed. Still afraid to look at your phone, your only indicator of time passing was Simeon coming up to your room with a tray of tonight’s dinner with a side dish almost overflowing with cookies courtesy of Luke. Bless these angels, both of them.

And sure enough, your phone stopped vibrating non-stop. Before you could deduce that the battery died, a singular buzz proved otherwise. Damn it.

Still, you couldn’t avoid the brothers forever. They’ll probably kick up another storm of messages since you haven’t replied to them initially. With a defeated sigh, you grabbed your phone and unlocked it. Let's see...143 messages in the HOL+Royals group chat, 103 messages in the HOL group chat, 87 messages from Mammon, 15 messages from Asmo, 10 messages from Lucifer, 5 messages from Levi, 1 message from Satan, 2 messages from Diavolo-

...2 messages from Diavolo. Sent a minute ago. Welp, no use avoiding him either since he’s the sole reason you’re even in Hell in the first place. ****

**MC! Are you alright? You sure ran out of the room quite fast. I didn’t know humans could reach those speeds.**

**I apologize if I offended you somehow.**

With a big gulp, you started writing back.

_im okay! Hunkering down at Purgatory atm_

_if anything, I should be apologizing to you lol_

Five minutes passed before he texted back.

**That’s good to hear! (smiling devimoji)**

**Hopefully the brothers haven’t bothered you too much from this.**

_you have no idea._

_(gurgle devimoji)_

**I have to say, you certainly caused a stir. I couldn’t help but wonder about something.**

**MC, do you see me as a father figure?**

_uh, no? If anything, I see you as a bother figure_

_cuz your always bothering me_

God damn you, brain! Think before you speak for fuck’s sake! Quick, do something that'll lessen the blow!

_lol_

Nailed it!

**(hehe devimoji)**

**I see.**

**I have been called many things, good and bad, because of my position. Being called dad is a new one.**

**It’s certainly not...unpleasant.**

He’s going to kill you at this rate. You know he will.

i _ll make sure not to do it again. sorry chief_

_tho im sure i caused a riot during the meeting_

**No worries!**

And you left it like that. Your mind was pulling blanks on how to respond. You could figure it out as you reply to the others, but you really don’t have the mental fortitude to face them now that Diavolo is embracing his new moniker happily.

And of course, think about the demon prince and he shall appear. Again. What he sent made you groan into your pillow.

**How about this weekend we can talk about what human fathers normally do over some sandwiches and tea?**

_...that sounds nice_

**Great! Looking forward to it!**

**(smiling devimoji)**

Even though this whole ordeal was embarrassing, you couldn’t help but smile at the prospect of your future meetup. While your actual dad had no redeemable qualities about him, there were always memes.

Curling up in your bed, you begin your hunt across the Demon Web ~~with a VPN that lets you access human websites~~ in order to bring your A-Game this weekend.

Maybe this turned out to be a good thing, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: agent-yolk-writes
> 
> Please talk to me about Obey Me over there. I yearn for more fandom moots.  
> I usually have more to say but...I got nothing! Let me know what you think and lyk if there's any spelling or formatting errors.
> 
> ~~Now watch as I take forever to haul this to tumblr~~  
>  ~~lord knows I need to get around to posting both OM fics on quotev eventually~~


End file.
